I hate this day. (1 Viewer)

[LSUFireGal]

3:30 am and I can't sleep. Today is my dad's birthday, the only day I hate more is the day he died. This June will be 5 years since he passed. I thought by now I would hurt less, but it seems I just miss him more. I can get by not dwelling on it, but knowing that my aunt and uncle, my mom, brother and nephew are all coming over tonight for dinner like we do every year is hard. We talk about what a great man he was and we write on balloons and let them go. My kids love it and it is a great way to make him part of their lives. My heart breaks though. My daughter will never know how it feels to be completely adored by him. My son has a mind full of great memories though and I am thankful for that.
My dad was the best kind of person. I feel like I should be more ok by now. He was 56, it was sudden and it was not fair. I guess losing someone you love never is though. Does it ever get any better? When?

 

[Diesel]

Allison, yes it does. The fact that you think about him and how much you miss him is a process that never ends.
The fact that you guys come together and share memories of his life good and bad, happy and sad is a wonderful tribute to your Dad.
The fact that you are who you are is a tribute for your Dad.
Let it never stop, all the things that your experience from the day he past is your never ending love to your Dad.
You know he's looking down and he'll see you and he'll be with you any moment.
When my Dad past away in '05, I remember it was on my Mom's birthday and we had the funeral 7 days later....... on my birthday.
Now the days are coming up little in over a month and I'll remember him as he was from the day I can remember him.
I can write a book about him, so many interesting memories I have from him.
When I think about my dad I tell my self this "My Father didn't tell me how to live...... he lived, and let me watch him do it.
If you need a shoulder let me know.
Allison, you are a great person and never ever let someone ever tell you different cause you know, part of that is a reflection of your best friend ever, your Dad.

Ben.

 

[Mark L.]

Allison,

Stay strong for yourself and your family. It's a very long and hard road we have to travel. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my father 5 years ago also. There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of him. Many days I still break down when I'm along. I know it will get better I just don't know when either. Just remember they want us to be happy.

 

[hankintexas]

It is always a sad day. I lost my father to a heart attack several years ago. Like Mark said, I still think of him every day. The sadness of the loss gets to me sometimes, his Birthday and the day he died. The good thing now is that I think more about him and what he gave me while he was here. I don't think losing someone that close ever goes away. Yes, I still have to choke it in sometimes when I think about him. He was a great guy and fun to be with. I do believe that we will be together someday though and it helps.....

Try to remember the good memories and what he did to make you laugh. It's what I do and it seems to help. Sometimes in the middle of doing something a memory will make me crack a smile.

Hank

 

[LSUFireGal]

Thank you both so much. I don't know why, but all this time I thought that by the 5 year mark things would surely be easier. Now I see that that is not the case and it scares me. There is something about losing your dad that makes you feel like a lost 5 year old. I pride myself in being pretty together but this gets me every time.

Ben, I can't imagine if he had passed on my birthday or my mom's. I thought Father's Day was awful.

To both of you. I can see you had a lot of respect and love for what must have been great men. You are both very kind and my life is better for knowing you. I know your fathers are proud to have raised such great men.

Thank you for your support.
Allison

 

[steveb]

Stay strong Allison...

I lost my dad too, that last time I spoke with him was on Valentines day in 2009. Two days later my uncle called telling me he had found my dad deceased. Its rough.

 

[LSUFireGal]

Thank you Hank. I am so lucky that I had such a great dad. He was one of those people you could always count on to do the right thing. My dad passed of a heart problem as well. He was scheduled to go to Korea on business during the whole swine flu epidemic and was feeling bad so he went to the ER because he wanted to be tested for that before trying to travel. They found congestive heart failure instead. He went into the hospital on the Friday before father's day and was scheduled for routine bypass surgery the following Monday. Surgery was complicated, but he began to improve a few days later. The night he died he was sitting up joking and talking when I left. Sometimes I still think it was all just a huge mistake. I have the hardest time with the fact that I know my dad would have known just how to get close to Kyle despite the Autism and would have built a monster reef together.

I am so glad to know I am not alone feeling like this. I miss him so much.

 

[Traclly Le Tran]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It must be hard on you and your family. I can't speak much on the matter because I have never been close to any of my family but I can only imagine what you must feel. I pray that you stay strong and that your heart stays filled with love and the memories of your father to keep the happy times you had with him.